Can you really begin to Re-Wire your brain out of Dysfunctional Patterns? Is that REALLY possible??
Todd Ritchey and the Neuro Alignment Model KNOW it is possible! Todd has helped individuals all over the world, learn to re-wire their brains out of may types of dysfunctional patterns and addictions.
How can you learn to do this?
In blog post 1 and blog post 2 of the Understanding Dysfunctional Patterns series, I talked about how to become aware of subconscious dysfunctional patterns and addictions, how to notice triggers and I discuseed Steps 1, 2 and 3 in the Neuro Alignment Model 8 Step Process on how to re-wire the brain out of dysfunctional patterns.
Let talk about the next 3 steps!
Step 4: Figure out the root trauma that is causing the emotions that drive the dysfunctional pattern or addiction. Or if the root trauma cannot be found or the individual does not want to look at the core trauma, we can look only at the emotions that are driving the dysfunctional pattern or addiction.
In the example that we have been using for this series, the root trauma the child experienced was being yelled at by her mother and told to go away when she was singing to her imaginary, adoring audience.
How does a person figure out the root trauma, if they don't remember it?
The woman in our example,was not aware of when the trauma started, only the triggers that caused her anxiety. The Neuro Alignment Model has a fantastic way to help you understand what the root trauma was or what is driving the dysfunctional behavior.
The first thing a person needs to do, that we talked about in blog post 1, is be aware that there are 2-5 core emotions that are created when a trauma happens and that when a person is triggered, the same core emotions pop back up, each and every time. In the case of our example, the child experienced shame, fear and feeling unworthy when her trauma happened. I would ask woman who is suffering from the dysfunctional anxiety addiction to think about what emotions come up each time she is triggered. What emotions does she feel when feel the need to flee, hide or disconnect from people around her. Once we pinpoint which key emotions come up each and every time, we figure out what her triggers are. In her case, they are when she hears loud noises, music she likes, or when someone talks to her in an angry way. Once we can pinpoint the triggers, what emotions come up each time and what those triggers drive her do, we now can help her learn to mute those triggers and begin to re-wire her brain from dysfunctional behaviors.
It is amazing how much of a wow moment it is, when a person using the Neuro Alignment Model steps, is able to become aware of when an addiction started for the first time or can pinpoint their triggers and core emotions! The freedom it invokes in a person, once they become aware of the dysfunctional patterns or addictions in their life, is awe-inspiring.
Often the person may say, “but that was such a little thing that happened or that I felt, it couldn’t be the cause my dysfunctional pattern!” But if you look at the situation from the perspective of a very young child, the situation was highly traumatic. The Neuro Alignment Models helps people to find compassion for who they were at the moment the trauma occurred and to authentically acknowledge that the trauma was indeed real to that part of themselves. It did create a dysfunctional pattern that is causing the pain in their life and to the people around them.
The Model also helps people learn to not dismiss these moments of awareness, not to feel shame or disgust towards them and to find compassion and eventually forgiveness towards how they felt at that very traumatizing moment. When we can find compassion for our own story and not turn the awareness into another trauma, we can begin to learn to re-wire our brains out of dysfunctional patterns and addictions.
Step 5: Realizing you are using Pseudo Dysfunctional Attachments, instead of Authentic Connections
The model then leads us to remember when we have felt those core emotions during our life and understand what we thought, believed and how we behaved when these core emotions came up. In the case of our example lady, she felt the need to hide and detach from the people and situations around her. She is now aware of when in her life she felt these 3 core emotions, the dysfunctional coping mechanisms she uses to sooth those emotions and how they drove her to behave. She begins to see how the dysfunctional patterns of behavior have been controlling her life for a very long time and what the patterns and anxiety addiction is costing her.
She will also be able to see how the patterns began to become more dysfunctional over time, as the same pseudo coping mechanism were employed and how each time she uses the coping mechanisms, she is creating more and more pain in her life.
She realizes that her pseudo dysfunctional coping mechanisms are that she detaches emotionally from others, which is mirroring what she did with her mother during the core trauma. She also recognizes how she always wants to flee the situation and hide away, which is her coping behavior when the leaves friends at restaurant or bars, when it gets too loud or when she hears someone speaking in anger toward her or to someone around her. This also mirrors her running away and hiding when her mom yelled at her, during the originally trauma.
The lady in our example begins to see how she is continually repeating patterns of coping mechanism behavior, that mirrored her original coping mechanism during the original trauma. She now begins to see how these pseudo attachments and dysfunctional coping mechanism behaviors, are things are causing pain in her life and to the people she loves.
Step 6: Trigger that flip you into dysfunctional patterns or addiction cycle
The lady will also begin to see very, very clearly, what is and is not a trigger in her life. She may feel triggered when a woman speaks in aggressive or angry ways, but not a man. She may feel triggered when she hears loud music from the type of music genre that she loved as a kid, but not feel triggered when she hears loud punk rock music. The object of this exercise, is to truly become aware of what your actual triggers are, not just superficially, but the exact things that trigger you.
She can use the core trauma emotions to help her to sort out what is a true trigger and what is not a trigger, but makes her feel simply uncomfortable. What I mean by this, is she may feel uncomfortable hearing very loud punk rock music, but it doesn’t immediately drive her to leave the club and run home to hide. It will not make her feel shame, fear or unworthiness. It might just cause her to feel annoyed and after a while, she may suggest going to a different club, but she does not flee the club immediately, in order to hide away.
For something to be a true trigger, it must bring up the core trauma emotions and drive a person to use their dysfunctional coping mechanisms, each and every time that trigger comes up. The person is usually unconscious of what the triggers are, only that they feel a certain way and respond the same way, very quickly every time they are triggered. That is a clear sign that someone is in survival mode and is using dysfunctional coping attachments, in order to feel safe.
For example, let's pretend that you see a large dog running towards you, barking and growling. You would immediately feel in danger and want to run away or fight. The lady in our example, when she hears a woman getting angry in a grocery store at her child, will immediately feel driven to leave the store or go far away from that lady and hide in another part of the store. She would immediately feel shame, unworthiness and fear at the same moment that she is driven to run away and hide. She doesn’t really think about what she is doing, she just immediately attempts to leave the location and get to safety. This is an example of a dysfunctional coping mechanism. The woman yelling triggered lady in our example and her addiction was triggered, driving her to get away from the perceived threat, because her mind is telling her that she MUST get to safety or she won’t survive.
Once the lady in our story becomes conscious of her dysfunctional pattern, the core emotions that drive her behavior, her exact triggers and the dysfunctional coping mechanism behaviors she uses when triggered, she can begin to re-wire her brain out of this dysfunctional anxiety addiction, by using step 8 Step Neural Alignment Model process.
Learn about Tools and Tactics to outwit your triggers in blog post number 4 of the 5 part series on Understanding Dysfunctional Patterns!
If you want to learn more in depth information about the process of how dysfunctional patterns and addictions start and the 8 step process the Neuro Alignment Model uses to help people learn to re-wire their brain from virtually ANY dysfunctional pattern they may have, you can purchase Todd Ritchey’s brand-new book, the Neuro Alignment Model.
For a VERY LIMITED TIME, he is offering a Neuro Alignment Book Club Experience, where he will be explaining each chapter in detail, through live video calls, live Q/A sessions and offering exercises, tips and real-life examples, to help you learn how to begin re-wring your brain from the dysfunctional patterns that are causing havoc in your life!
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